Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it so much. I've had a crazy busy week and this is the first chance I've had to sit down and respond, but I have been thinking about your questions and points.
On the math front, I agree 100%. It is impossible to 'hate math'. I should have worded my post more carefully, I just hear this statement from my DD so often. The idea of starting a separate thread about this makes sense.
It sounds as though the main thing that's not working is that her choice of schedule leads to you having to be "on" and fully engaged with her for too much of the day, is that right? And maybe also there's the meta-issue that you feel she is manipulating and controlling the rest of the family more than should be accepted, but aren't sure how to stop this? I haven't heard that you feel she isn't learning enough anyway, is that right? So if you changed your system to address the first two concerns, and there was a period during which she learned less as she got used to the new system, that wouldn't be a disaster?
Yes, yes and yes. However, I do feel that she would learn more if she didn't spend the entire day putting off school work, because once she 'starts' she appears to enjoy herself. This even happens with math, despite her frequent proclamation of 'hating math'.
As for discussing this with her, it really never amounts to a meaningful conversation. I've tried many of the approaches that you have mentioned but we keep ending up in the same place. I think that intellectually wants to focus on her 'school work' but somehow can't actually control herself. After YEARS of tantrums, I just can't go through it with 'school work' too. Today we did get a referral for all the psychoeducational assessments, but this is for another thread.
As for putting her in PS, this really isn't an option. We live in a very small town with 1 PS. She did attend for JK and it didn't go well. The class that she would be in is chock full of very serious behavioural challenges (that pale in comparison to DD). They do not have qualified support staff. They literally yell at some of the kids (I volunteered in her class and have witnessed it first hand). It is really awful. I can't imagine that she would learn anything positive at school and because she is above grade level in many areas, they absolutely wouldn't be interested in making any accommodations for her. It seems like they are just trying to survive each day.
Back to HS, I will keep aiming for 'daylight' hours and maybe if I can get her to 'like math' she will be easier to engage. As for the control issues, I really do not know what to do about this. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.
A.
