Thank you all so much for your responses. It's 1 am and I really should be in bed, but I want to reply, hopefully it will make some sense.
Is there anyway you can quit at 2pm? That way she can do socialization stuff with the kids who go to school and you aren't so 'on' so many hours a day.
Is there a strong local Homeschooling community? Perhaps one day a week can be for playdates or taking turns with other moms being the teacher?
I absolutely need to end earlier, I can't keep this up. I am beyond cranky, however, this crazy schedule works best for DD. We need to strike a balance. As for the socialization end of things, she's involved in many activities during the week. On those days we do quit earlier. As for the homeschooling community, there really isn't one here. I do know of a couple of other families and I am always happy to connect with them. She generally has a very social weekend as well.
Learning Mom - I will check out the Well Trained Mind Accelerated Forum. Thanks.
So, you've tried unschooling. You've tried having four hours of school spread over a ten hour day. What else have you tried?
First was JK in public school, then HS using some 'packaged curriculum', then de/unschooling, then very wholehearted attempt at Montessori HS, then unschooling again and now we are just 'eclectic' and I'm exhausted. I have tried starting earlier in the morning hoping to have a more normal day. I am going to try cutting down the formal 'school work' time, but I suspect that it really won't change much. DD is very asynchronous emotionally and academically. She is also the most strong willed person that I have ever met.
LMom - I think that you are living my ideal HS day:). This is my 2nd year, believe it or not my current situation is considerable better than last year!
La Texican - I've never tried intensely focused on single subjects. This would work for the subjects DD likes, but she would never agree to a heavy math week. However, I think that I definitely need to be more flexible and open to letting go of 'my schedule'.
Writing/Language - he flat out refused, so I left it at that. Plenty of catchup this year, but I had to choose my battles.
I agree, there are many things that DD completely refuses and I am getting much better at just letting go for a while, handwriting is the battle that I've opted out of. Math, well that's the one that I picked - but I do try to incorporate jumping on the bed during math whenever possible.
I'd worry that DD had ADHD, but after watching her with other kids her age I've concluded that in fact her attention span is vastly superior to most kids her age. On a typical day there's no way she'd sit down and spend an hour on a worksheet. She can focus on something, when it's her choice. Or she can focus on something if someone is helping her to remember to focus. But if you put something down in front of her and ask her to do it, and then walk away...yeah, she's going to be climbing on the table, pretending to be a lion, before the minute's up.
I'm not entirely sure that DD has ADHD but ALL the signs are there. To name a few... She needs to be prompted to return to her work as I sit next to her. Essentially I pretend to be a student much of the time, often working on the same activity keeping her engaged with questions and comments. She is constantly rocking or swinging her legs, she loses everything. She is also extremely inattentive and completely spaces out for long periods of time. She doesn't hear people when they talk to her. She has a lot of anxiety and I know that that this can look like ADHD, most likely, I think that it is a combination of things, giftedness being only a piece of the puzzle. Whatever is going on, it is intense.
Kimck - I like the 'bare bones basic plan' I think that this makes tons of sense.
GreenGully - All that I can say is that I wish 'unschooling' could work for us. I always love reading the 'unschoolers' posts on this forum. Thanks so much for your reply.
Overall, your responses have been very helpful, in such different ways. I don't know what I would do without this forum
A.
