Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Praising the type of effort

Wren,
I hear you and Val! DS is now 11 and we are finally seeing that he has glimmers of understanding the value of effort and output. From very young until just recently, he bounced around alot of activities trying to find one or two that challenged him, enthused him and motivated him to as I put it learn how to learn. He has done karate, oboe, tennis, piano, soccer, drums, art classes and probably some others that I have forgotten. Currently he is taking acting classes and ice skating. These are activities that truly seem to click with him on a level we haven't seen before but it took alot of trial and error to find them.
The really great thing is even activities he really doesn't like such as homework are getting easier now that he has a perspective to understand the relationship between effort and output.
It was really hard to take several deep breaths and steps back when his coaches and family could see that he had so much potential in so many of these activities but he just wouldn't put in the effort to realize the potential. None of the time was wasted since he did get a very broad base of knowledge and the balance he learned with karate is a great help in the ice skating. I will admit to many (not as calm as I would have liked) discussions about not working up to his potential, slacking off, and being willing to settle for less than his best. I also have to admit that I don't think a single one of them made a bit of positive difference. It really did take some maturity and the right activities for DS to get the idea across.

It sounds like your daughter is an amazing child with amazing opportunities in front of her. But, she may still be very young to understand the future value of the effort she puts in today.