Hi,
I know your main questions were about which test to use to document the true abilities, particularly math abilities of your son, but I just wanted to comment about his gross and fine motor skills. I'm no expert, but I have been around lots of kids in school settings at many different levels, and to me, your son's abilities -- other than the fact that they bother him -- are nothing to worry about much at this point. He sounds like a normal almost-five year old boy. The areas that you mentioned he had trouble with (tracing a line carefully, cutting with scissors, drawing shapes) are all things that can be explained by either his lack of interest (the tracing) or lack of practice (the cutting, drawing). Many a boy, and yes, that's a generalized statement, has little interest in arts and crafts and/or drawing, so they get little "natural" practice with these skills. And, since your DS is obviously busy learning other things, you just probably haven't thought to practice those skills. Same, I'd guess, with the jumping and the ball skills. If those are things he's generally not interested in on his own, I could see why you might forget to practice those skills. I certainly wouldn't think OT or PT was necessary at this point. Just try to work those activities into your day with him. To me, the report that you got seems to pathologize normal 4-5 year old behavior and physical abilities.
As far as him getting upset with his comparitive difficulties, I suspect he probably has perfectionistic tendencies in general, yes? It's something many of us here deal with. Perhaps one of your strategies could be working with him to go a little easier on himself. Perhaps emphasize that everyone has things that are strengths for them and things that need to be worked on. But, too, let him know the basics of asynchrony, which is that while his brain is working like older kids' brains, his body is working just the way a 4 year old's does. And, that's okay.
I hope you're able to find a good academic situation that meets all his needs. He sounds like a great little boy!
