SI is proving to be very interesting...thanks for pointing me in this direction. It seems the 'what I don't know' list is growing faster than what I'm learning...but that's okay- I am a fast reader! DD has always been a hasty decider, much to my dismay. I like to consider EVERY possibilty before I decide (not very efficient, I know.) I now understand why so many of her meltdowns come from me questioning her decisions and throwing so many other possibilities at her ("But did you consider this? Okay, but what if...? Y'know this one has X, but the other has Y... What about Z?") I think I'm being helpful, but she is getting overwhelmed to the point of being immobilized. And, of course, I'm interpreting it as DD never wanting to take advice or do the research, or just being stubborn and difficult. Doh!
The fact that she gets angry when she is hurt, frustrated or injured makes it harder to help her. If she cried and wanted consolation, I could just give her a big hug. But she gets angry and I get upset and it all starts to escalate into a "scene." Boy, I guess I can go back and re-interpret everything now. Ugh.
Well, DD and I are taking a mother-daughter vacation to the beach this week. I guess we have lots to talk about...
