Hello Philosurfer,
Our son, now 27, had a lot of the same behavior: meltdowns, social anxiety, strong willed outbursts, hypersensitivity, loud talking, and severe underachievement. I know exactly how it feels to blame ourselves. You and your husband did your hardest to try to cope and do the right things. Is there OCD in the picture? There was with our son. (anxiety, phobias, obsessions, ruminations) Perhaps you can find a good therapist who specializes in these type of behaviors and understands high IQ people. Ritalin was a big factor in saving his life. He went from socially annoying to socially considerate of others. His grades went from F's, D's and C's, to A's and B's. Ritalin helped him reach his full potential and he was happier on it. He's now a Ph.d student and doing fine though OCD sometimes flares up.He manages without Ritalin. It is only my opinion, but I believe the risk of not using a med is that they'll latch onto the wrong crowd because their self-esteem is low and they need to fit in somewhere and those crowds will accept them. Getting attention from boys is an easy feat that falsely builds self-esteem. It's an easy standby. The more she feels achievements, the less she'll need attention from boys. Proper med. helps them build study and social skills, repairing self-esteem. My heart goes out to you. We, too, experienced years of upheaval. No one understands the suffering we go through with these types of kids unless they've been through it themselves. Hope you will let us know how she's faring. Please stop blaming yourselves. I'd suggest you find parents who've dealt with any prep school, who can give you personal testimonies of how they've helped their kids. Hopefully, the attention, nurturing, and supervision in the school will be flawless. Blessings!
