Hi Willa Gayle - ((hugs))
Does your son know these neighborhood 6th graders? How does he feel about them? Are there honors classes or gifted clusters in 6th grade? I hate to be such a nudge, but I'm in the middle of convincing myself that kids have some "inner intuition" about what they need. Of course they need us to take an independent perspective (see tummy time thread) buuuuuut (I know that you know this)
I can't speak to the racial issue, but here's my question - is your kid better off facing it later when he's older but more "bad fit" academically and interpersonally (he recognises that they have similar interests), or facing it right now with his own initiative and better fit academically. This assumes that he's going to have to face it either way. (I missed the part about is it you or his dad who is the "non-dominant" heritage person - if it's his dad, I missed the part about is his dad in his life, and what's his perspective on this? What does your older son think?)
Here's a little story about my life - I spent 4th and 5th grade "shunned." It was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone....except, when I grew up I became close friends with a lady who had never been unpopular in school, I mean never. We had infants at the same time, and would go on long gabby walks with the kids in strollers, I learned about her life. I never realized how much work, effort and self monitoring goes into never offending anyone "important" (no matter how offensive that person's demands might be.) I think she took more damage watching people like me get shunned that I did! Honestly. She still couldn't talk to people who were offending her about what her true feelings were. She told me about friendship after friendship that fell by the wayside when she finally got fed up. Did our friendship end in a similar way? Of course. Yet for all that, this person had many, many wonderful quailties. I will always be grateful to have known her, in general, and in particular due to the insiders view of the "popular" kid.
Does this little story translate to your situation? I don't know. I'm not saying it does - since I don't know what the local situation is for people of color. I just felt the urge to tell it (in front of the whole world ((red face)) no less) because maybe it will help you, Willa Gayle.
We're only in charge of doing the best we can at the time. The outcomes and ramifications are much bigger than any of us.
Love and More Love
Trinity
