Friends,
DS7 is taking a living math class in a homeschooling co-op.*
(*For those not used to the lingo: "living math" = using hands-on manipulatives to figure out, say, an equation from actual use of "stuff" instead of being given the equation and being asked to solve for an answer; "co-op" = parent-taught classes in order to give kids classroom opportunities in limited doses that are (more or less) in line with their needs.)
I had to work to get him into the class because he's 7 and the age range is 9-12. She had lots of doubts, even though she has GT kids herself and knows the pain of the lack of fit. I have been worried that she's not going to be fair to him from the start.
I observed today, and truly, I felt like she was dismissing him completely.
He had things to say that were useful contributions, and he said them, but he's quiet and shy, and she didn't listen. At all! I had to say, "Hey, he said..." to get her to pay any attention to him. And after that, I'm not sure she thinks he even really said the things. She seemed to think it was all me. *sigh*
I promised the teacher that she would not have to slow the class down for him, and I still think that is vital. The overall class has to come first. But there's a difference between not slowing down the class and IGNORING a kid! Admittedly, he is not as fast at getting some things as the other kids are, but he is also getting certain things LONG before they do, or coming at problems from a different and interesting tack.
What I see is that he has a firm grasp of the concepts she is teaching coming into the class, but he does not yet have some of the language that she's looking for. But then he used the term "array," a common one in Singapore Math, and I passed it on to her. Her response: "But does anyone here know that term?" "YES!" I said! "My son, who said it!!!" Argh!
I was really frustrated. I'm SERIOUSLY considering just pulling him out. Why don't I?...
DS7 LOVES the class! He thinks it's great fun and says he's learning a lot. He's not frustrated or annoyed by her dismissal, even though he's aware of it. He doesn't mind. He just likes the math.
She says he can stay, but it's clear from her body language and lack of classroom attention that she's not wild about it and she's not going to help him at all. I'm pretty sure she has written him off completely. We discussed what to do--a friendly but charged discussion--and she kept stressing his age. "If he has 3 more years to be exposed to it," she said, "he'll get it fast like the other kids do." I wanted her to get past his age and think about how she would deal with a quiet, deep-but-not-fast 9yo, but she just refused to go there with me. As far as she's concerned, his age is the problem. I think she's not giving him a fair shake and isn't going to.
So, wise men and women, what do I do? Keep him in, as he would like, or pull him out?
BTW, I can be in the class with him part of the time--DS4 is in a different class that requires my attention, too, so I can't be there all the time--but I'm not sure if my presence is very helpful. I think I just frustrated her today, and I know she frustrated me! I was able to get more attention to DS7, at least. Maybe we just have our own little tutorial during the class? But then why be in the class at all?
Even when he made good points that other kids didn't get, she ignored them. When he spoke, she actually talked over him to the other kids. (And she didn't do that when the others talked. I watched for it!)
Clearly, she wants him out. Is it worth my ignoring that, as DS7 is? Or is this a harmful situation? I am firmly on the fence!
