Aspieration, sorry I'm in a rush once again, but I wanted to let you know my 2e ds has developmental coordination disorder. DCD impacts each individual differently but for my ds it is the root of significant challenges with both handwriting and verbal communication. The root of the challenges wasn't obviously clear to anyone (including his parents) when he was in early elementary, and we only learned of the DCD after finding ourselves through a neuropsych eval after we'd desperately sought help from our pediatrician because his teacher was convinced he had ADHD and that diagnosis just didn't seem to fit the child we were parenting at home.

I only have time for a few notes -

1) Our ds also ripped up his school papers. That's a classic example of what looks like a behavioral issue but is more likely a child who is extremely frustrated because they are faced with an overly-challenging task.

2) We didn't realize our ds had verbal communication challenges because he talked a lot. Instead we first began to realize (after his diagnosis) that he had handwriting challenges, and then after we were able to get handwriting accommodations in place we started to realize he was struggling to answer open-ended questions (via handwriting). When he was just a bit older, in 4th grade, he finally was able to articulate to us that he had the very same challenges with verbal expression - (expressive language) - we just hadn't seen them because he was so talkative.

3) DS has been through counseling a few times - it's never really worked out, but it was recommended to help him learn how to cope with the anxiety etc he feels due to his DCD challenges. One of the counselors was convinced he had ASD - just as one of his teachers had been convinced he had ADHD. The thing in both of these cases was the teacher and counselor were seeing behaviors and symptoms that fit diagnoses that they were familiar with. Neither teacher or counselor had completed a thorough global eval so they didn't see the larger picture, and they also weren't familiar with DCD. Our neuropsych has a Venn Diagram which shows significant overlap in symptoms between the three. While they can absolutely co-exist, it's really important to understand what is at the root of each behavior so that you can be sure your ds is getting the therapies he needs that *will* make a difference. The good news for you is, your ds is still very young (in the grand scheme of things). He's extremely frustrated right now, but if you're able to get accommodations and therapy in place to address his DCD you might find his anxiety and behavioral challenges are reduced.

Our ds had extreme anxiety which was morphing into clinical depression when he was eight, prior to diagnosis. It had become so bad he was imaging horrible things happening to him at home, where he had no reason not to feel safe. I'll never forget the day I knew we had to do something, anything - it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and he was terrified of going out into our yard because he thought "bad guys" were out there. All of that anxiety, all of the fears, all of the everything that was so psychological, went away when he was given accommodations at school and at home for his writing challenge. Which is not to say it was then all lollipops and sunshine for the rest of his school years - he needed IEPs and accommodations and years of language therapy, and a ton of support and help with social challenges and organizational challenges. But understanding the diagnosis allowed us to find appropriate help and support, which in turn gave him the opportunity to learn how to cope with his challenges.

He's a junior in high school now and doing really well. Your ds will get there too.

No time to describe the details of it now, but we did have to change school programs. The issue ultimately wasn't the program perhaps as much as the willingness of school staff to be supportive.

My advice for you right now, today, is to start learning as much as you can about each of your ds' diagnoses and thinking through the behaviors and challenges you see and think through what might help him. Google "diagnosis + accommodation" etc.

Continue to let us know what questions you have - and know that you not giving up on him is going to be the thing that ultimately matters more than anything else for your ds.

Best wishes,

polarbear