I didn't read all the responses but I see ADHD as a sort of spectrum where some people are mild and others are very severe. My daughter who is now 11 was very impaired in the classroom, esp. as she moved up through grades and the work became more complex and required more focus and writing. Early on some of the other kids looked off task as well but they improved and she didn't. We started medicating which helped with some symptoms but not others. She is now in middle school and hasn't grown out of it but is functioning fine with support. I don't believe she would thrive in a private school if they were not open to providing supports/modifications and just wanted high achievers. Her WISC GAI was 150 and she was in the low 90's average range for processing speed. The fact that there was such a large gap was concerning and it DID show up in real life as her just not getting her work done in a timely fashion. I think that's the key thing to look for at school. Is she getting the work done? Is it piling up? Is the school open to making any accommodations with or without a diagnosis? If not, then the school probably isn't going to work long term. you can't make it 8 more years if she is already struggling at this young of an age. I would look at work completion and work pace more than how well she focuses when the teacher or other kids are talking. Hope that helps. In terms of her having friends at the private school and being happy, she would most likely be happy and have friends at public as well and it's easier to switch her now (or at the end of the year) than in the third or fourth grade. Also, check out the gifted program that the public school offers. If it's no good and they won't challenge her, that may be a poor option as well. Sometimes even sp.ed at public schools is no good...our district adamantly refused to write an IEP for ADHD claiming she had to have failing grades and standardized achievement scores. She is now in a district that doesn't think that way and they have a stronger gifted program.
