Great advice from polarbear. Here's a few more thoughts from the BTDT files.
With apologies for repetition from a couple of other recent threads, I would tread very carefully around concerns being expressed about attention and writing issues in 6 year olds. If the school issues mirror challenges you see in other settings, then something may well be going on there. But if it's classroom specific, take a hard look at the classroom expectations and how well they match your child's need. Gifted kids often look ADHD when they are not challenged. So, however, do kids who are experiencing learning issues. So as polarbear says, its really, really important to understand what underlies the behaviour.
Keep in mind a class can easily be both too hard and too easy at the same time, too. For instance, expecting large amounts of sitting still and compliance plus neat written output from six-year-olds, but on content they mastered ages ago. Nothing sets off the ADHD in my kids more than that combo.
While ADHD is typically associated with low working memory and processing speed, they aren't absolute. I definitely have a kid who is off the charts on both working memory
and inattentive ADHD.
And finally, if your daughter does have any actual learning challenges beyond a mismatched classroom, then our experience is that these things really, really don't get better with age. The opposite, in fact. Kids can compensate for a long time - gifted kids even longer - but as the school work gets more complex and demanding, they have to work ever-increasingly harder than every one else in the class to keep their head above water. Anxiety grows, misery grows, self-esteem plummets - but the marks might still be OK. Until finally the work takes that one extra leap in complexity, and they can't fake it anymore, and they're drowning. Trust me, you don't want to go there if you can avoid it.
So - if all that is going on is developmentally-inappropriate expectations for 6 year-old compliance and written output, then yes, as your child ages they will "grow out of it". If your child is tuning out because they are bored and frustrated, that tends to keep growing until they are appropriately challenged. And if there are actual real challenges with writing or attention, these will likely only grow over time if ignored.
If there is one things we all repeat on this forum like a mantra, it's "one day at a time". You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out if your child can stay put until middle school, or what they will need in high school (I do it all the time
). But for these kids, their needs change so much, so often, all you can really do is find the best place for them right now, and accept that next year, the answer may be something completely different, and the year after that, veer again. Very tough on us linear-thinking planner types!
