Our pediatrician has prestigious degrees but we picked him due to a personal connection - his office is managed by a friend. However, we only use him for medical issues and have never tried to bring up the issue of giftedness. If your concern is ASD rather than giftedness, then I would really narrow your conversation to ASD. Otherwise, it can be confusing for the doctor who is focused on dozens of medical issues at a time. From your descriptions, it sounds like the doctor does not understand what you want. For example, he thinks you are worried about potty training so he reassures you not to worry until 3. I don't think I ever brought up potty training with the pediatrician either as it isn't a medical issue unless there is a problem. You would get better advice from seasoned parents. In reality, many toddlers can be potty trained at 18 to 24 months and routinely used to be in previous generations.
Based on your brief post, you have not mentioned the most definitive autism markers and that may be why the pediatrician did not refer you immediately. It may be that your DS did not present as autistic at that brief office visit. You may need to tell the pediatrician point blank all the autism markers and why you are worried and that you need a referral now.
