Regarding the potty training, I'm just wondering how I can trust her to give me accurate advice for MY son, not just the norm. I had already explained to her that he was telling us when he peed in his diaper and when he wants changed. He prefers taking off his own pants each night after we unbutton and unzip them. Those to me are signs and while I'm in no hurry and don't mind the diaper phase (he's already growing up too fast), I don't want to miss opportunities or give him the wrong message.
Perhaps another option is to step back from needing advice/help from your pediatrician. We don't live in a place with good health care, so Dr. Google is about as good as the real version here. We've never discussed milestones or potty training with our doctors, just illness.
If you want to potty train, do it. Or wait. Do what works for you; no need to have a doctor agree.
With OCD or ASD concerns, like said above, bring those issues, and only those issues, to the appointment. Or better yet, find a specialist and just go. FWIW, mine have also looked OCD during the toddler ages (but never ASD); rigidity is inborn here but not all rigidity is pathological.
