First, I would try and find a developmental pediatrician, since I think you are going to need someone who understands child development. Secondly, does OCD, ASD, giftedness run in your family? I have been on these boards for a while, and read a lot here-but have no medical background
-and what you describe to me sounds like giftedness frustration due to asynchrony (but if you are seeing toys being lined up, poor eye contact, etc. or you have it in your family and you know the signs for your particular situation then you should go to a pediatric developmental psychiatrist.)
Also, you spend more time with your child than anyone else, if you have alarms going off, there's probably fire. But, that said, since I started on this path, a lot of what I thought was true has changed over time.
