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How important is the activity to your son?

Very. He loves it in a pure sense.

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How much does he care about winning?

Enh. Middling. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Not as much as many do.

I have thought about whether there is any way to really do this activity without the competition. Not really. It's quite tricky.

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What we did was starting at age 4, we taught about respect every single adult. Even if they are wrong. Even if you don't want to do what they say. Even if what they say is the stupidest thing you ever heard. You need to obey (this referred to her parents too)

I get why you did this. But it's a hard one for me philosophically, and safety-wise. I don't want my child to feel he/she must obey every adult unquestioningly. That frightens me.