There are all sorts of angles could be happening here. For instance, some adults are simply more mellow about overlooking back-talk (you stated above that he does talk back at home sometimes and you ignore it) .That's a totally legitimate way of dealing with it, but it doesn't make the behavior acceptable. It's possible that your ds has acted this way with other adults and he's now getting called on it simply because he's run into a supervising adult with a low frustration level for it.
OTOH, it's also possible that your ds is acting entirely different around this particular adult than he does around other adults - and if he is, there may be a reason for it - maybe the adult is the problem. If that's the case, you might seriously need to consider pulling him from the activity if there isn't a way to avoid the adult. I may sound too cautious about that, but I have known kids who've been hurt (physically and emotionally) by adults who took advantage of power in a situation like this. I am not saying that's going on at all - just saying that if you're seeing atypical behavior in one situation with one adult - it could be the adult that's the issue.
This is insightful and I think both scenarios are a real possibility. I am actually a little worried.
The most contentious point may be that the activity needs this particular child in order to be competitive and therefore it would be "stupid of them" to expel a child for back-talk and poor behavior.
Yes, okay, that was poor wording. The irony is, I say this in part due to the pressure that has been put on my son to win and achieve at this activity. Winning is VERY important to the adults in this activity.
As an update, DS did this activity today and apparently was an angel. I guess we put the fear of God into him. However, I don't know if this will last.
BTW, the activity will continue for many months and this is the only place/way DS can do it. It's tricky.
