This is exactly why I found these forums as well. I wish I could tell you that I no longer have denial, but I have long periods of this still and he's 4.5. That playdate scenario is something we STILL experience. I absolutely despise playdates. Playdates at the house are the worst-it's especially obvious how different he is when he is at home. He has artwork up that looks years ahead, calculations on paper everywhere. I never turn down a playdate offer, and always welcome kids to our home. I just secretly hate it because it's incredibly stressful for me. The parent usually realizes that he is different and our family is different due to his abilities and I can see them looking around and then ask questions that I really can't answer in front of the children and/or I don't want to answer to maintain my son's privacy.
Once he was tested at 3.11, it helped some. My husband says he is not in denial at all and the grandparents now believe us. When I am especially feeling the lonliness of this experience, I come here and remember that I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, this is real and it is a unique life.
My heart goes out to you. Too bad you don't live down the street. I have this ongoing fantasy that I'll meet another family with kids like this (I have a two year old showing signs of giftedness as well) and then I won't have to explain anything, we can just let the kids be themselves.
