It sounds like the feedback Nueva gave you was genuine, and I have to respect that. Though I am still tempted to deconstruct it. For example that they sure don’t want any kids that are “hard to manage”. These kids may be the most gifted. They could handle them if they wanted to. If anyone has the expertise and understanding they do. But they just reject them. All the while cloaking themselves in the mantle of “serving the gifted”. Similarly, there seems some mis-alignment between their promotional material about self-directed learning, and then proceeding to grant admission to the ones who do as they’re told. They should know full well that gifted are often like this; its tantamount to another betrayal of the gifted. From members of our own gifted community who surely (one hopes) know the literature. Sorry if I'm being a little hard on Nueva, but hey research shows that we gifted have a righteous streak. Helios is not immune from some of the above either.
I feel for you, me, and many other who get started on the gifted road, feel like Nueva etc. is salvation... only to have them slam the door in your face. Its true there are only so many openings, but parts of it smack of hypocrisy. I have to feel that many in the gifted community are wounded... first by public schools... then by private schools... and by society all along. In BAGHS they don't want to talk about private schools, as if there's nothing to learn from them. I suppose it might clog up their mailing list, but really there are only a handful to discuss. I feel they are a bit reactive or have self-doubt, or that past rejection and/or costly tuition remains a sore spot.
Yelp has some interesting reviews (click through to the "not recommended reviews") of Nueva, it can really turn into a bad mushroom trip. Even if your kid gets in these schools maintain a process for "counseling out" a child who stops fitting in. The overarching problem is, out to where exactly. And the other side of this coin is that the current demand leads to power trips and distortions that accompany any (near-)monopoly. Think Comcast customer service... then imagine a balance of power where if you get too loud Comcast can cut your cord... thus the parent community becomes a bit of a farce... or sparsely populated as parents realize they should just keep their head down... nobody wants to risk giving the administration or the board any real feedback.
Its possible that your son may simply need glasses. Or something called “vision therapy” which seems pseudo-scientific but that some gifted kids seem to benefit from.
Do keep home schooling in mind. See
http://www.sfbaghs.org/ (Apply when you get close to actually doing it. You can get observer status for a while but they are focused on parents actively homeschooling.)
