First of all, come to terms with the fact that your DS may be changing schools, probably more than once. For kids with a really high LOG, it's actually quite common. Our DD seems to require a refresh every two years. And note, the better the school fit, the happier she is... and the MORE quirky and out of step with the norm she gets (despite being socially adept and friendly).
Second, you are seeing firsthand the difference between a school that focuses on achievement and one that focuses on intelligence. The achievement oriented school is going to want lots of similarly-minded, hard-working, MG kids. They aren't going to want to dissipate their achievement energy accelerating or differentiating or dealing with a quirky kid. That these are great schools (or even claim to be gifted schools) doesn't matter, because it's the not right school for your DS.
So what is the right school? Well, sometimes the less well know places are better. The small quirky schools with less attention on them. And these schools can be hard to find. We've been hunting for a new school for DD what feels like almost constantly since 2nd grade. Sometimes the best matches are places that hide.
Val's list of options is excellent. But I wouldn't cross number 3 off the list if you don't have to. Maybe a year at home (or with another provider) will give you the time you need to find a better match.
