I really do want to get the gifted testing done. I do have money I can draw from to get it done. I know there is a gifted center in Rhode Island and my son's LICSW also pointed us to a therapist nearby who does it. Which particular test should I be looking for?
kjs, fwiw, I would also suggest you ask through your local homeschool community if you can find any connection, or ask through your ped's office if they know of any lower cost resources for testing. We were able to find a low cost option for IQ and achievement testing this way.
I had a hunch that having that "proof" would be helpful.
Proof of ability will be helpful but you already have proof through achievement testing that your ds is working ahead. I'd suggest that, before testing for IQ (and spending the $), you ask yourself - what would you do if the testing showed he wasn't "gifted" - wouldn't he still be the same child who is bored with the academics at school, and wouldn't you want to advocate for something more for him? It's possible your best answer for now is to advocate with the data you already have. I'm also curious - have you requested any further testing through your school district? Even though they don't have a gifted program, there is no doubt they have other gifted students somewhere, and they might provide some type of ability testing if you request it. That wouldn't necessarily be a full IQ test, but it might be enough to advocate for "more" during the school day.
I do not think he has any learning issues at this point, so I don't think we could use that as an excuse to get cheaper testing.
Home issues are another story. He's always been extremely stubborn and defiant. We see the LICSW I mentioned above to help him with these things, with mixed results. He has trouble following directions and doing routines. He gets angry when he's reminded of what to do because he says he knows, but then wanders off and does the opposite of what I said anyway. He has these super complicated ideas and then gets frustrated and angry when he doesn't have the ability or resources to carry them out. (I'm still recovering from the leprechaun trap fiasco...) It's been a real challenge and it's only recently that I realized there was a connection between giftedness and these particular struggles.
To be honest, I'd not necessarily assume these behaviors are coming from being gifted - it's quite possible for a child to be gifted and also have other challenging behaviors. I'd think that with the list of challenges you've mentioned above you might be able to get neuropsych testing paid for through medical insurance (some of us have). Don't ask for IQ testing, ask for neurospcyh testing to determine the root cause of executive functioning issues, challenges following directions, etc. You'll get the IQ testing as a part of the package, and you'll also hopefully get useful information on how to deal with the challenges you're having at home.
I was hesitant to call him gifted, because I think that someone can be smart for their age but not gifted, but I see a lot of signs of it.
I wouldn't get too caught up in the semantics of gifted vs smart. If a child is bored in school, they are bored in school and they need something more challenging. OTOH, a child who is showing challenging behaviors at home such as you described might have something more than just being bright going on, and as the parent of 2 2e kiddos, my experience has been it's far more important to be sure you understand the 2nd e and start remediation/etc for it early than it is to push for gifted services early and hope the other will simply resolve with advanced academics.
Best wishes,
polarbear
