Wanted to update on this. I had time to sit them both down for a family meeting this weekend. It was eye opening and powerful. They both talked about what the other sib was doing that upset them and what they themselves might be doing that would aggravate the other. Apparently, DS is triggering DD by using a superior tone and attitude at certain times (I seriously hadn't noticed this, but he totally copped to it) and they both are annoying the heck out of each other by inserting themselves into parental discipline of the other (THIS I know about!) The issue of DD not wanting to play and DS feeling alone came up almost right away, with tears flowing on both sides. Wow...it was intense. I can say it was a profound moment for everyone. They have been able to play together for longer than many children with their age gap, which is lovely. But all of us except, I think, DS, knew this day was coming. They talked about it honestly and I think the reality is something DS is going to continue to have a hard time with, but amazingly the rest of the day was very harmonious. I think that is the core of all of this. Wow.
