I know this is certainly not a gifted-exclusive issue, but it does relate to giftedness in several ways. My children are 11 and 7, and quite nice to spend time with solo, but really pretty awful to be around together these days. It seems like they are just looking for reasons to be mad at each other. They are never physical, but it's like being with a bitter divorcing couple. Every remark (and this is partly where the giftedness comes in) is analyzed for hidden meaning, and they are so reactive to even the tiniest slight, perceived or real. They can fight over the placement of a napkin or the sound of a word, and with their excellent oral language skills, they will go at each other like lawyers in a courtroom. I often just make them stop talking about whatever it is and/or separate them, because it's so awful to listen to and sends my blood pressure through the roof, but that's not practical or productive.
If there is an actual conflict over a real issue (they both want to use the same item), we can usually problem solve that. This isn't really about that. It's perceived tone, someone not liking someone's comment, someone wanting someone to stop singing, things like that. Basically, they seem to just drive each other crazy--oil and water. I should note that they still do play with each other, but DD is getting to the tween age, and there is some angst happening regarding what she wants to do vs. what he wants to do.
I guess I am hoping that others have gone through this and have some thoughts. I have tried family meetings, asking them to compliment/do nice things for each other, giving them more solo time with each parent, and just having them spend less time together. They will start this within seconds of reuniting even if apart all day.
