Originally Posted by Bostonian
I don't often directly tell my oldest that he is very smart. But when I had him take the SAT before age 9, one reason was to give him some data on how smart he is. When I tell him he should try to become a competitive candidate for admission to the most selective colleges, that is another way telling him he is very smart.

The issue isn't whether your child knows they are smart, but whether being smart is what they are praised for. It is when a child realizes that they are valued for being smart that they develop the need to maintain that appearance at all costs--even at the cost of actually learning or growing. It's when being smart becomes your identity and source of self-esteem that the label becomes a source of anxiety and challenge becomes something to avoid.