I think telling kids "you're so smart" is so toxic. I experienced this firsthand and it was harmful. One of the benefits of having my DS at a gifted private school is that they understand this and praise effort, persistence, and grit instead.
Yeah, well, there's a flip side to that argument. I was never told how intelligent I am, and it took a long time for me to figure out what I'm capable of as a result.
Why does this idea always, always seem to come down to pitting two sides against one another (the bad people who reveal IQ and make their kids lazy vs. the good people who don't and teach their kids about hard work)? How can you develop a talent if you don't know you have it or its extent?
Two of my kids have been tested, and they both know their IQs. They're also reminded constantly about the need for hard work and consequences of laziness.
