It's silly to assume that kids don't realize that there are differences in ability, they see it everyday in class. In general I believe in telling my son the truth, that brains matter, but effort is just as important. The latter point may not be as obvious to them if they don't encounter challenging material in school and is why it is so important for kids to be taught at their level. If they aren't challenged from an early age, they don't know that studying/working hard is important and will struggle later on as material becomes more difficult.
I totally agree with this.
Also the parents are not the only ones telling these kids they are smart. The other kids at school maybe even teachers are telling them this, especially if they are younger and still at the top of the class. How could they not know. How would Dweck suggest you counter this with her anti-praise research?
We have praised effort and stepping out of your comfort zone for a long time with our ds but he knows what he is good/great at and what he is just OK at.
