Picking up this thread late. Shifrby, I hope your meeting with your DD's teacher resulted in some positive changes. I wanted to suggest an alternate option if you feel you are still getting nowhere. You can part-time homeschool your DD for math if you feel that would be a better option than dealing with the school's instruction. Check her out for math, and hire a tutor to teach her twice a week or do it yourself, and then keep her in class for other subjects.

We're going to be doing this with DS10 starting next week, using a tutor and I think the Singapore math curriculum, and are feeling good about it after five years of working unsuccessfully with the school on math. I didn't know part-time homeschooling was an option until a few weeks ago, so wanted to suggest it.