1. How did you make the decision on pushing for acceleration vs just trying to create accommodation or accelerate through other means. Note while their teachers strongly discourage grade skipping they are more than happy to work on IEPs.
We began the conversation with the school from the perspective that a grade skip would be the method of meeting our DD's needs that requires the least amount of effort from the school... simply plop her in another seat and continue doing whatever they were already doing. So we were quite surprised to see them reject that solution entirely, and volunteer to offer alternatives that would require significant effort from the homeroom teacher. Nevertheless, DW and I were quite open to any alternatives they offered, and they were all given an opportunity to succeed. All we cared about were results.
The results were abject failure, and we found alternate means to impose a grade skip despite their lack of cooperation.
2. have heard that kids who grade skip in most cases end up repeating grades in senior years of school anyway since they hit a wall academically or socially. Has this been accurate in your case? If so would you repeating a senior grade a better option compared to staying with
I haven't heard much about that, but offhand I'd say my DD would be a very poor candidate for such a thing. I simply don't see her hitting a wall academically. And socially, the consequences of being younger are significantly lower for girls than they are for boys.
3. In retrospect any other trade offs ?
The biggest trade-off I've seen so far is that DD seems out of step when grouped with age peers in non-academic settings, like her soccer team. But the reality is that she was going to have the same problem whether she was skipped or not, and it's actually better (in the sense that it's less pretentious and more of a simple statement of fact) to explain that by saying, "I'm in fifth grade" than "I'm gifted."
4. Finally if we do go ahead I am assuming the best time to do so is at the beginning of the new school year. Have folks typically done that? If so when have folks started discussion on this with the school? Jan timeframe for next academic year?
We started that conversation with our DD's school six weeks into her first school year, to give them an opportunity to see how necessary it would be, because we were already convinced.
When we finally got one into effect, it did begin with the new school year.
For me the main trade off seems to be in time available outside of school for other activities. when you grade skipped did you not find increased amount of time required for HW etc which curtailed other activities?
DD gets most of her homework done at school, although the why of this is pretty outrageous. She'd rather be playing basketball at recess, but DD says the teachers keep shooing girls away from it. The girls just want to walk or sit around at recess, which is boring for DD, so she makes use of the time by sitting in one of her classrooms and knocking out her homework, so she has more time for fun when she gets home.
Did your early elementary kids actually know of the concept of grade skipping and asked for it. Or is this a question you posed to them before you approached the school?
DD knew of the idea by the time she began K, because we were already talking about it. She was very interested in the idea. When she was still in 1st grade with age peers, she was incredibly unhappy with us parents, whom she blamed for the placement. We had a lot of work to do to prove to her that we'd been arguing with the school for a skip on her behalf pretty much since she started there. It took her presence in a meeting with the vice principal in which we had a testy exchange on the subject to finally convince her.
Last year (4th) was her first year in public school as a skipped student, and it went well. This year she's already getting bored, and is starting to push us for another skip.
The main downsides to skipping seem to be that every problem is blamed on the skip and dome teachers try and sabotage the child.
This was 100% true in our case. One teacher felt the need to announce DD's age to the entire class within the first few weeks of school last year, and social problems immediately materialized, as someone started bullying her for it. The staff did nothing about the bullying issue until I got involved. That would definitely be an example of sabotage.
DD's teachers were so quick to criticize every mistake she made and blame it on skipping that she felt the need to prove them wrong every single day. One positive outgrowth of that pressure is she made huge leaps in executive function. Negative ougrowths were a pervasive sense of insecurity, a suspicion that she was a fraud, perfectionism (a problem we were already dealing with that they made worse, thanks), and an inability to celebrate her accomplishments.
I think she is only finally feeling a sense of belonging since a month ago, when she was interviewed as a candidate for Student of the Year. Even then, she was quick to dismiss that honor with, "That's just what Ms. Homeroom Teacher thinks."
