I would tend to agree with what others have posted. Moving her seat in the classroom or moving classrooms, is probably warranted in this instance. It sounds like this child is having difficulty dealing with her emotions and is at times unstable. Someone with that kind of emotional instability could easily escalate their behavior into a physical confrontation. Having tantrums and emotional meltdowns at her age is symptomatic of someone maladjusted and probably in need of psychiatric care or counseling. Those are things that neither you, nor your daughter can provide for this girl. If your daughter removes herself as a "supply" of constant compliance and deference to this girl's wishes, then she will eventually move on to find someone else to make her feel important or "special". I would also follow up with your daughter's teacher to make sure that she is communicating some of these issues to the girl's parents.
Exactly.
I'd also be concerned that the "lessons" that
your daughter is learning here will eventually translate into later romantic interactions-- this is a real worry, as girls do very definitely tend to incorporate peer interactions learned in their pre-teens into later intimate relationship patterns.
Someone who uses your child as a supply of-- well, whatever-it-is-- by taking advantage of her innate empathetic qualities is particularly bad news because that is a serious vulnerability that makes empathetic people the ultimate 'bait' for those with certain personality disorders that lead to interpersonally exploitative interactions with others.
Don't even ask how I know this-- I sure wish that I did not. I
strongly encourage you to consider YOUR child's need to learn to place boundaries. STRONGLY encourage. This is going to need to be something that the adults in her life HELP HER WITH, by supporting her efforts to properly and assertively advocate for her own needs.
Empathetic/helper kids tend to have soft boundaries interpersonally, and grade-accelerated children with that profile are particularly vulnerable to exploitation by older peers.
