Wow... we must have touched a nerve here. Lots of posts here!!
My DS8 didn't sleep through the night until after he was 4.
He was a baby who would catnap for 20 minutes and then be off for the races again. We tried the ferberizing thing once. (an only once!) He screamed for over an hour until he was so upset that he puked everywhere. He literally got so angry over the injustice of being left to cry it out that he would not calm down for at least an hour or two afterwards. (I think he was about 2 at the time).
My only strategy for getting him to sleep for either naps or bedtime was to read to him. By the time he was 18 months, I would pick out the longest, most boring books from the library (books with over 100 words per page!) and then read as quietly as possible while lying down in bed with him. It would usually take an hour of reading in the afternoon, and an hour of reading at night, for him to fall asleep. He was just way too mesmerized by even boring stories to fall asleep. I would quite often read myself to sleep, only to have him shake me and yell for me to keep reading.
The best advice that I ever received about raising kids was from a mom down the street. She said that her little guy got more and more wound up the more exhausted he was. That described by son to a tee. His mind starts racing the more tired he is. He also has more nightmares if he goes to bed very late. My DS hits this small window of sleepiness after dinner, around 7:30 at night, every night. We have to catch it then, or he gets a second wind and will be up all night long. So even at the age of eight, we have an the hour of reading, followed by an early bed time of 8 pm. He may lay in bed for 30 minutes and think about things, but he falls asleep fairly quickly.
As a side note ... If we are up late for some reason (scout, family or friends), and he is exhausted when he goes to bed, I know that it will be a terrible night. He just can't seem to get into a deep, restful sleep when he is tired. He will also unfailingly wake up at some ungodly early time, instead of sleeping in. (so he will short change it on both ends). Interestingly enough, I have the same problems. I catch a second wind if I stay up too late. And if I go to sleep exhausted, I rarely have a deep and restful sleep.
