I am really struggling with teaching DD how to assess her abilities accurately. She is way off, most of the time. It's either she thinks she knows it all when she only knows little or she thinks she is going to fail for sure when the task is really not even all that challenging to her except that they require her to learn a new skill or two. I fear this combination is going to lead to many issues.
This is very tricky. My older daughter (who is 20 in college) is terrible about this and always was. She has language processing LD's. When she was in early elementary she would happily do an entire worksheet wrong. Over the years she did learn when to go and ask for help. She is better about being able to assess her ability but this still doesn't come instinctively. I try modeling this behavior for her and talk through my thought process. You could have her practice this at a time that isn't stressful like homework. For example if she does a page of math, ask her how she thought it went and write her feelings down, then grade it and talk over what was different and what was the same. Practice, over and over..
My DS15 on the other hand is instinctively very good at it. If he tells me he did well on an assessment he is almost always right. I didn't teach him this skill, he just had a much better grasp on when he understands something and when he doesn't.
