But they can't ever look like they're testing him in any way about any skill, because then he will TOTALLY refuse to do anything.
Honestly, I chalk this one up to an artifact related to asynchrony, and peculiar to a particular type of HG child-- the one with a high need for autonomy and a wide oppositional streak, probably also with a distinct mischievous streak. At least that sums it up in my DD, along with her perfectionistic tendencies. In other words, she demonstrates:
1) nothing that isn't at "mastery" level-- learning is private and internal, evidently, where it occurs at all; and
2) nothing upon DEMAND; skills are demonstrated intrinsically or not at all.
Point 1 has required a LOT of remediation, and point 2 is something you'll just have to wait out, I'm afraid. It required DD being 8-10yo before she could do what others asked her to "show" this way-- she found it more entertaining to win the power struggle until then.
You do have my sympathies, however.
