I would drop the "reading aloud" (unless she's behind for her grade) and have her read on her own for 20 minutes before bed. My kids often need to do this to settle down anyway.
Do the spelling "exercises" relate just to the words being tested? Maybe ask if she can skip the "exercises" as long as she is able to pass the tests.
Handwriting is also difficult for my second grader, with his developmental coordination disorder and low tone, so I feel for you. I can't see getting DS to do all that work. The teacher has just been giving one sheet of math which DS could do in about 60 seconds. It was way below his level so now she's sending home 1 sheet of more challenging math. I think they have spelling words each week but no spelling exercises or any other written work. She wants them to read for about 20 min. per day but it doesn't have to be any particular book and we don't have to log anything. She said that if a kid doesn't feel like doing the homework on a certain day that's fine, just send in a note. She said that family time is more important. So the total opposite! I think in your position I would focus on the fact that she still struggles with handwriting and it takes a long time to get it done...can we please have a reduced workload so she has time to play and do other things? I wouldn't go to the director unless the teacher resists hearing your concerns. Of course if she was grade-skipped they may throw it back at you, like clearly it hasn't worked out to grade skip her because she's not ready for the work. So it's a tough position to be in. All I can say is that I don't think that amount of work is "normal" or at least not our experience. DD didn't even get that much in THIRD grade.
