And see, I look back and feel that arc is largely idiosyncratic as much as the intellectual one is.
My emotional maturity had been goosed substantially by life circumstances-- so I was more or less not like any other 14-16yo, but much more like my friends who were 22-28yo. I understood certain things about the human condition, if you will, because I'd seen things that most kids my age had not. Most teens? Made me feel old. And tired. World-weary and not a little impatient with their-- immaturity and naivete. I remember that sensation quite clearly, and recall thinking that I hated being the functional "grown-up" in every group. My friends and family agemates and I did a lot of very dangerous/risky things during those years, but my judgment kept us just this side of major disaster, if that makes sense. I was a wild teen, but the ONLY time that we ran afoul of the laws of man or nature was when someone was too dumb or arrogant to listen to me when I offered objections. Of course, a healthy dose of good luck helped, too-- but when I go into detail about some of those things, like bridge jumping, staying out all night, etc, it is still clear to me many decades out that my judgment was that of a person much older. It appeared that I was far more reckless than was ACTUALLY the case. My mouthiness was the only thing that getting older helped with in terms of regulation. At 15 I was already very much like the person I'd be at 30. I realize that is somewhat anomalous.
DD's emotional maturity is similarly old for age-- but for different reasons. She is less sexually mature for age, however-- but she is far more self-aware there than I was, and having parents who are assertively in-the-loop has meant that we've done what we can to protect her and coach her as she encounters predatory individuals and unhealthy interpersonal stuff.
Anyway. All of that to note that I think that all of those developmental arcs (physical, emotional, intellectual) have to be taken into account, and reconciled in the context of a person's life circumstances if one is to know what the "right" thing is. Our strategy with DD is to make sure that she can talk to us about anything (and she does), and to express our hopes, our fears (within limits, of course), and expectations to her. We also make clear what is known about the neurobiology of any particular stage or event in her life, so that she can properly contextualize it and extrapolate from as many different places as possible. Thus far, that analytical approach seems to work very well for her.
Hindsight is always 20/20, though.
