Four case studies for you--
Myself-- should have been accelerated, possibly 2y or more, and wasn't. I spent my high school years skipping class and being-- well, the kind of teen that I don't want my DD even around. I was bored and depressed, and my self-worth was virtually zero. I graduated in the top quartile of my class even so-- and when I say "skipped class" I mean that in my sophomore year, the authorities were interested in my absenteeism rate, which topped 40%.
My Best Friend (HG)-- left high school at sophomore year, enrolling in community college and attaining her first degree and her CPA before she was 19 years old. She was the youngest state tax auditor that her state of residence has ever hired. She was effectively accelerated 3y at the END of her high school career, and this has worked out well for her. I seriously doubt that she has any regrets. She and I both married very young, however-- and to partners VERY much older than ourselves-- gaps of 11 and 7 years, respectively.
My BIL-- similar story to mine. He's EG.
My DD: Effectively a 4y skip, given her late birthday-- we delayed entry until she was 6 while we homeschooled in a variety of ways. At that time, she entered as a 3rd grader at the end of the year-- but worked through the entire 3rd grade curriculum in a compacted 8 week period. The following year, she compacted 4th and 5th, but the school started to freak out, and asked us to agree to "no more skips" which was fine for about 18 months, and not-so-great for another 12, and hideous for another 6 until we told them that she was probably not going to graduate if they didn't do something about the poor fit. She graduated #1 in her (VERY competitive) class at 14yo, and was accepted everywhere she applied, and has a full ride scholarship at a state research flagship in the smaller honors college program there. We'll see how she does, but the college environment seems to suit her well.
Okay, so things which I regard as collateral damage-- that is, they are regrettable, but the price which had to be paid:
a) sports-- she is fairly athletic, but the age difference means that outside of club sports, she is THE youngest, and usually the least capable,
b) social-- she, too, resents being "the baby" A LOT. She has chosen to modify her behavior so that she can "pass" which has worked well since puberty, but that brings me to--
c) romantic*-- because she is FUNCTIONALLY 2-3 y older, and very appealing in personality and appearance, she has a lot more interest from others than is wise or healthy, and mostly it makes her incredibly uncomfortable. She's never really known anyone that she wanted to be involved with within 2 y of her own age, and at the moment, this is a serious concern and causes her a lot of stress because of how strict our state laws are, and the R&J clause here, which is 3y. MOST of the college guys who hit on her are outside of that range,given that she's only just 15. Her first serious boyfriend is nearly 4 years older than she is; the two of them are well-matched in other respects, but it's an issue, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry both sets of parents. They're supervised as though they were both 15, and there are some VERY strange conversations because of this age difference. Things like making sure that NO electronic communications between the two of them could even remotely constitute "supporting evidence" of an improper relationship between them... and some of this stuff applies even with her FRIENDS.
d) pragmatic limitations on transportation, legal authority, etc. This is a huge mixed bag, but it will include things like not being able to stay in a hotel room with a group of older students, not being able to drive or vote, not being able to even GO INTO a bar while a college student (okay, maybe that is positive), insurance, driving, etc. etc.
* also note that because of my own experiences, I know that NOT accelerating DD would in no way prevent any of this. Remember, I met my future spouse at 15, too, and he was in his 20's at the time. So I didn't confuse acceleration as causative in this case. DD isn't drawn to people older than herself because she spends so much time with them, so much as that she finds agemates to not really be PEERS.
