... The muti-step transitions (e.g., pack up your stuff, go to cubby, put stuff away, get stuff for next class, etc) he tends to be slow and forget a step etc., which can be 'disruptive.' He is always a beat or a step behind. But it is because he is struggling with motor planning and multitasking - he's a step behind everyone or has to go back for something he forgot, etc. When they start yelling at him and putting him down for it, he may then seek to defend himself by explaining that he struggling (he has said I can't listen right to you while I am trying to pack my bag you need to give me a minute). And that is often seen as being argumentative.
Some may say that supports for being on-task may be important items for an IEP or 504; Although the subject of your post focuses on his difficulty with written expression and technology supports to accommodate that, the development of other skills may also be necessary to help him fully access the curriculum. The teacher may have been indicating this; If so, it may actually be an area in which you and she agree.
As a separate issue, some parents may coach their children that a child's self-advocacy may be most effective when a child
asks for what they feel would support their progress, rather than
telling the adult what the adult needs to do. For example, "you need to give me a minute" may be seen by some as affrontive, bossy, and lacking respect for authority, therefore less effective than "would you mind repeating that for me when I have finished this?" or some similar question which invites a partnership.
