I think my kids have the academic wherewithal but perhaps not the special skills/extracurriculars and "leadership." That's kind of sad, but that's how it looks to me, though DS may be more up that alley than DD. There is probably a good chance they'd get into my or DH's alma maters (SLACs--not Ivys, but top 20) due to the legacy advantage.
With DD, I'm concerned about getting her through school with mental health intact. That will be primary. She is on track for a very competitive high school experience. I'm not sure how it's going to go.
DS is more mentally centered, but interestingly, has more perfectionism issues at this time, which will be a real problem if they continue. This may be because he is totally underchallenged, whereas DD is getting at least some stretch. The perfectionism is one reason to keep him very active in chess, where he is surrounded by other very bright children and needs must lose from time to time.
That is exactly why I think that DS is kind of jumping the gun. He has three long years of middle school before even starting high school so who knows what will happen. I hear so many stories of kids losing their way in middle school as well as shifts in the pecking order due to any number of things. It's not that I think either DS or DD will become average but in the top 10% there is a lot of room for other factors than pure intelligence.
I wondered about the perfectionism issue - how much of it is genetic and how much environmental. Fortunately, none of my children tend that way (for now).
