I think my kids have the academic wherewithal but perhaps not the special skills/extracurriculars and "leadership." That's kind of sad, but that's how it looks to me, though DS may be more up that alley than DD. There is probably a good chance they'd get into my or DH's alma maters (SLACs--not Ivys, but top 20) due to the legacy advantage.
With DD, I'm concerned about getting her through school with mental health intact. That will be primary. She is on track for a very competitive high school experience. I'm not sure how it's going to go.
DS is more mentally centered, but interestingly, has more perfectionism issues at this time, which will be a real problem if they continue. This may be because he is totally underchallenged, whereas DD is getting at least some stretch. The perfectionism is one reason to keep him very active in chess, where he is surrounded by other very bright children and needs must lose from time to time.