I agree that it makes a huge difference whether all the effort is child-led or parent-led. But everyone also doesn't necessarily want the same thing. Whereas some might really cherish a "normal childhood", others think that the things that they do, which are so different from what other kids do, are entirely "normal to them". I think lots of parents here see this in their house all the time. I remember reading about this a lot in both Far From The Tree, and in Developing Talent in Young People. A world-class swimmer commented that he didn't play much with kids in school and in the neighborhood but he didn't mind at all. He said something like "those kids were trying out for neighborhood kids baseball teams, and I was already one of the best swimmers in the country. Why would I give up this and join them?" There was the mom of a music prodigy who said "look at what he does. He is not a normal child. Why does he want a 'normal' childhood?" And this prodigy himself said that playing piano for 8 hours a day is extremely normal for him and those kids who don't do this miss out a lot.

So it all depends on everyone's unique perspective.

Sacrifice is simply a fact of life for parents. We all do it at times. Some big, some small. As long as we believe that it's worthwhile for us, it's the right choice. We just can't justify it or regret it based on the outcome. We are not businessmen, we are parents.

I had fun reading ashley's post because she described so well our situation. Both of my kids are very talented young musicians, they play instruments at a very high level, my son composes ferociously, they do a ton of theory, have great ears, perform in many occasions, study with the best teachers around, and I go out of my way to find the best opportunities for them. But I'm not a tiger mom. I sometimes wonder how much further they would have been if I insisted that they practiced two hours a day instead of one. But that's just not who I am. I'd be happy to help my kids do things that they love to do as kids, and I'd be happy to let them decide who they want to be when they grow up. Those who choose other parenting styles will simply have a different set of challenges and rewards. (Like ashley, I also doubt that my son will end up being a musician. I think it's likely that he will have fun with music as an adult but pick a different career.)