But really it's all such a whirl and such I'd really love to record to just keep track of things and follow up etc. but on the one hand while advocates and experts encourage recording, others warn it'll offend the school, make them angry and defensive, etc. so I was thinking of recording it on the sly, just for my own use to keep track.
Definitely do NOT record on the sly: that is illegal in many states. Most places in the US you need to inform people you are recording the conversation and get permission.
For a while it was absolutely necessary that we record every meeting. It really did instantly change the tone people used to speak to us. For the better.
My procedure:
--unpack papers etc. for meeting, place recorder on table
--as meeting is starting, say "I hope it's OK with everyone if I record... it's so hard to think and take notes at the same time." (your "whirl" comment is good.)
--district representative then says "You can record, as long as if the recording is needed later, we can have a copy"
--I say "of course, no problem" and we start the meeting.
In a contentious situation, we have found this a very valuable tool, both for making people conscious of what they say to us in the meeting (insults, implied or stated, go away) and giving us a clear record of what school personnel are offering or refusing to do for our child.
We have never needed to deploy the recording as evidence, but the recording was useful in keeping us out of court at various points. If you collect the right evidence, you are more likely to be able to resolve the situation without resorting to due process proceedings or worse.
