I like the suggestion to make a list of things you want to address. I'm going to try that as I go in with DH to meet with our son's math teacher.
My situation is different. I'll be going in asking how she can help us curb ds's math anxieties caused by timed tests that he's still being subjected to in compacted 7th/8th grade math, and also asking about the zero given to everyone in the class for talking. So my hope is to invite the teacher to work with us, to convey our willingness to work with her and respect the authority she has over her classroom, while at the same time point out the fact that maybe such a disciplinary action only hurts the kids who never needed it in the first place.
And all the while trying very hard to keep the anxiety and irritation from flashing neon on my face.
somewhereonearth, I wish you luck and fortitude. I'll be thinking of you.
