quote=DeeDee]I'd probably make a list ahead of time of all the things that YOU think are working well, and why. As well as any needs that are not being met. [/quote]
I think the idea of putting together a list of what you see as working well is really key, particularly if you feel they are trying to push you out of partial homeschooling.
They (principal, some teachers) are most concerned because other families are finding out and they are concerned that lots of other families are going to do the same.
Do you think there might be any other reasons too? I always like to think through all the possible concerns, and then come up with my response to that: either why I don't see it as a concern or be able to show the concern isn't really "real", or be able to show that even though it's real and it's a concern, it still is less important than the overall goal of meeting your ds' needs. In your case, I can see that the school might be worried that other parents will find out about your ds' arrangement as being something school staff may not want to happen, but I am wondering if there might not be some other things going on too. For instance, in our school district, a student who isn't enrolled full-time doesn't count as a full-time student for state funding, so the school would be losing $ by not having a student enrolled full time. Another possibility is just dealing with not having him there all day when schedules flux for some reason that is out-of-the-ordinary. Perhaps the principal is getting pressure from someone above him in the district saying "we don't do this" or maybe your ds' teacher is not happy about the arrangement. I'm probably an over-preparer but I'd think through and have an answer in response to all of the situations I could think of that they might have an issue with, and I'd write down my answers just in case I got caught up in stress during the meeting and forgot something I wanted to say. I tend to go into meetings with lots of notes and work examples etc - and I don't usually have to refer to any of it, but it helps me feel confident going into the meeting feeling like I have those things to rely on if I do get nervous or frustrated.
If you walk into the meeting and are presented with a long list of concerns that you haven't anticipated and don't know how to reply to at the time, it's ok to walk out. We were advised to do this during our IEP eligibility process by our advocate. You can do it without being confrontational - simply say, "This is a lot of information to think through. We are going to stop this meeting now and we will schedule a meeting at a later date after we've had a chance to review the meeting."
we are partial homeschooling because the school refuses to meet DS's needs.
I think I would have a plan in my back pocket re how the school can meet his needs if they are asking you to drop partial homeschooling. Note - I doubt they can make a plan work, but I think it's not a bad idea to lay out on the table (once again) a reminder of what your ds needs if he is going to return to full-time enrollment. Be sure you have data to back up those needs (test scores, evals, work samples, homeschool records etc).
The way that they knock him down is to criticize him and put him down because he is not "perfect"....and they believe that he should be because he is PG. So, they pull out worksheets that DS completed where he got a bunch wrong and say things like, "He's not as smart as you think."
OK, I'm going to play the devil's advocate for a minute here and ask "If he's PG, why isn't he getting better scores on his work?" I ask myself questions like that, and then figure out the answer. I think it's important to try to go into this type of meeting with an open mind. Even though the school has an agenda, they may also have some valuable information for you about your ds and how he's functioning in school. If he's getting answers wrong on worksheets, I'd want to know how often (infrequently, randomly, consistently), how is he doing on tests, is he engaged when he is working in class? What is it like when he does his homework (I'm guessing this happened in math, since that's the core subject he's at school for?).
Or they say that DS is only interested in physics because we bribe him (really - they have said this..."what child would be interested in quantum physics?! It's completely boring to a 6 year old. You are obviously paying him to be interested in it, for your own ego.")
This would *really* bother me to have the school staff say this to me. I would respond with the honest truth - that I was insulted and that we need to keep the focus of the meeting on my ds' needs.
I also would strongly consider asking if you could record the meetings. Tell them it's for your notes. And check to see what the law is in your state re recording school meetings. The reason I'd record is simple - I suspect it will shut down any talk that may be bullying on the part of the school staff.
We arrive and they just start the assault on how poorly we are doing with homeschooling.
What do you show the school to prove your ds is making adequate progress at home? What type of things does your school district expect you to keep as a record of progress?
It is apparent to them because DS "can't" do the grade level worksheets at school.
Well, he's doing a different subject at school than at home, right? So if he's having trouble completing worksheets in that one subject correctly (the school subject) you need to address that issue as one issue, in and of itself, not connected to his partial homeschooling - unless they can prove a connection such as he's missing instruction because they change the time of day when they give the instruction and he's not there.
The challenge for you, I think, is if he's not performing well at school in his one academic subject, you're going to have to prove without a doubt that he's receiving good instruction at home and making good progress.
No matter that we had him tested and he is ready to jump 2 grade levels ahead.
Which tests are you basing this on? Was it a comprehensive achievement test used by your school for all kids (such as MAP or ITBS?) or was it ability/achievement through a psych? The reason I ask is - we've found very little buy-in from school staff on ability testing as a reason to do anything in terms of acceleration. The proof of need for acceleration that's been easiest for us to have accepted is achievement on either grade level or out-of-grade level tests or end-of-year tests in the subject that are given routinely by the school district to all students. As you get farther up in math, you also have to be able to show you've successfully completed the previous year's course (this is once you're above elementary level math).
Good luck with your meeting!
polarbear
