He is in the "it is too hard and too easy" zone and I don't see a way out.
Oh how I wish I had a great answer for this! I can share what we are doing now that DS7 is working with me in home schooling...
First I started verbalizing a new expectation. Academics are all well above grade-level so I know I can set a different type of goal. I told him that there was only ONE thing I wanted to teach him this year: how to look for solutions to a challenge rather than give up or shut down. (I am not so focused on his competency in a thing as I am in his ability to try.)
Then I started introducing things that I knew would challenge him but that I believed he was able to complete. Frankly that has been very trying and exhausting for me. He has put up all manner of protest and complaint. It's been ugly. That made me realize that a classroom teacher would probably never have gotten through it. He truly had never been taught anything and he tried to avoid it at all costs. I keep reminding him of my one goal for this year.
When we hit a wall, I am walking him through if it is a visual issue, a fine motor issue, a lack of information issue, etc. until we figure out (together) what the barrier is and how to solve it. I am learning tremendously about his issues and what works and what he needs as we work through this. He is also learning to advocate for what he needs to complete a task.
Ironically after getting through one of these challenges he talks about how much he LOVES that subject and learning new things.... only moments earlier I heard, "I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it!! I'm just shutting down! This is too hard for me...."
We are a work in progress over here but I am seeing progress... and it truly has to be the most important thing my son could learn this year. I think it's the key that opens up his potential in all directions.
I know home school isn't the right choice for everyone but somehow, someway finding a patient person to wrestle through the "too hard" seems to be one solution to getting past it. This 2e stuff with such smart and challenged children is really tough and really exhausting. I get downright discouraged too... but then we get another day and I realize that good or bad, each day I'm learning to do this better and find/give/help/explain/advocate more effectively because of it.
But on the bad days, I find ways to grieve or get angry. I give my son a hug. I talk to a friend or post here. I pray about it and I take time to take care of myself. I hope you can do that tonight. You have been through and learned so much in the last year and the challenge of that can really wear someone out.
