We picked them when our children were very young, didn't really know what they wanted to do, and because we wanted them to have a chance to try new things. As they got older and wanted to choose themselves we let them choose, within reason (as in, my dd9 who wants to do *everything* still only has 7 days in each week, has to attend school too, and is limited by her parents budget, much to her chagrin - life can be rough lol!). We do try to be sure our kids are staying physically active, and we have kept them in piano lessons even though each has gone through a phase of wanting to quit at various times - but ultimately they were only phases and I kept them in through it because in my own experience, I felt that piano was the best all-round instrument to study to learn music theory, and knowing piano made it easy for me to learn to play other instruments when I wanted to. We've usually had a bit of an idea of whether or not it was best to drop an activity all together when our kids wanted to drop it or whether or not it was a temporary feeling that they would get past. If they were truly miserable and hated an activity they'd signed up for, I'd let them out of it as soon as they'd finished out whatever session we'd signed up and paid for - I have no desire to torture my kids, and they have always found quite a few things to be interested in all at the same time, so we haven't been caught with kids hanging out with nothing to do
I also try to look at the extracurriculars as just that - "extras". They are a chance for my kids to have fun, learn new things, be active. They *aren't* something that I see taking my kids to the Olympics, stardom, or following on to careers or college scholarships in and of themselves - but I do see them as having value in giving my kids a chance to be with other kids who share common interests and in helping my kids find a way to have active & interesting "fun" that might lead to hobbies they can continue into adulthood. So from that perspective, the actual "thing" they are doing doesn't matter so much (as long as it's legal and doesn't hurt anyone lol!)... as much as the simply "doing" it
Best wishes,
polarbear
ps - We do guide our children to activities that help others (volunteerism etc). We still let them pick, but so far they've needed some help either from us or through school or church or scouts etc *finding* things that are meaningful in the community etc - simply because they are still on the low end of life experience
