Well, this is it. I don't know what to say, except to say I've been there and others here have as well.
Public/private schools seems to obsess about what 2e or special needs or kids in general can't do. They seem intent on 'fixing' them and concentrating on their weaknesses rather than building on their strengths or interests, which can be frustrating for 2e kids/parents. They'll focus on a child not doing timed addition rather than the child can do algebra. It's crazy.
Throw out the rules and start from scratch, I say. Homeschool/unschool and make up your own rules instead.
DS3.3 situation. Because of his high functioning autism diagnosis and the way he was behaving during the few school therapy sessions we let him attend, the school's opinion at this point is autism class to work on his behavior and social issues. NOTHING that would even remotely address his learning needs in terms of academics. For us, his behavior is not an issue unless he feels threatened in a particular social situation (such as school setting). He CRAVES advanced academics. He self-taught himself to read before he turned 2.5, same with basic math operations, he does a lot of other advanced stuff and absolutely cannot stand repetition, completely loses it around kids who are crying or slow learners ... but give him academic stimulation and he jumps right in, attention full on! WHY in the world would I put him in an autism class or even special ed preschool (that the school was very insisting on) to put him through learning basic alphabet and numbers to 10 for the next 2 years???
So, with DS3.3, our plans for the early years are to homeschool and use his motivation to learn academics to modify his behavior. Certainly NOT try to break him the way that was recommended to us.
