I found DS4.5's severe allergies be a lot more disabling that DS3's Autism diagnosis. DS4.5's life is impaired 24/7. The younger one is the happiest kid in the world, all smiles and couldn't care less about any diagnosis or what it might mean. In fact I am still a little more inclined to him being stubborn, strong-willed, ignorant ... and have I mentioned stubborn? but I don't know about Autistic. He's interested in age-inappropriate things which makes him delayed. But what about the fact that he does things that are 2-5 years advanced? Why is that such a bad thing? And again, his life is never impaired and isn't that what plays a huge role in diagnosing? DS4.5 is extremely sensitive to everything. DS3 is only sensitive to certain things / sounds and chooses when he reacts and chooses when he doesn't. The older one has much harder life and always had than the younger one. They are both gifted or so we are convinced (unofficially, not tested yet) but I'm 99% sure the younger one will be higher up on the scale. But for now, given the younger one's careless attitude, he'll probably have a much easier life at school and in personal life because he simply doesn't care. DS4.5 wants to be social but we have to put a lot of limits on everything because of the food allergies. DS3 is Mr. Anti-social but that is what makes him happy. It's his thing. He doesn't mind company but doesn't join in. Again, his Autism diagnosis really only impairs him in that everyone focuses on his Autism but not on HIM. You can see how annoyed he gets when people try to get him to do what they "think" he should do just turning three ... like pretend play ... when he wants to go do a crossword puzzle or read a dictionary in his game. It's the outside world that sees it as an impairment / disability. To him, it's nothing but FUN
