To further confuse a confusing issue... fwiw, I think so much of the perception of "disability vs gift vs something in between" depends on individual personality, and even individual personalities and viewpoints can flux over time in the same person. At least that's what I've observed so far in my own family.
Totally agree. Personally, I think autism is not the source of DS's data-headed gifts at all; there's enough of that elsewhere in the family to suggest he just got an extra helping of what was already around. To me, autism is no gift-- as Mum3 points out, the struggles are constant, his and ours both.
However, I support his figuring out his own attitude-- it's his autism, not mine-- and his ability to look for and find a bright side in his very complicated and challenging life will probably help him be a happier person.
HK, I certainly didn't mean that disabilities all come with lovely silver linings. Indeed, I detest the "oh, you're so INSPIRING" business. I prefer the Buddhist acknowledgment that there is a lot of suffering in the world, to notice and live with and mitigate where possible.
I agree, HK, that all disability is personal, and yes, it would be grand if someone would ask what's needed to help in a matter-of-fact way without making unwarranted assumptions. We actually have some (not many, but some) folks in our lives who do that, and it is fantastic.
DeeDee
