Yes - This is cause for concern. Obviously it's cute and understandable that you and DH would want to show him off - but it's the first step down a very hard path. Can you get your husband to read some of the threads here about perfectionism? When DS10 was little, DH and I would point to big boys that we thought DS10 might resemble physically when he grew up - perhaps you could bring that energy to it. Once you have the Ruf book, you can show DH why you think that your child may grow up so different from other kids.
Anyway, controlling another person's behavior is difficult, but if you can, without paying too high a price, do so. No more spelling for attention.
"Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades: And What You Can Do About It" by Sylvia Rimm, page 40 refers to the kind of attention that our kids tend to get, and then she explains all the problems that it can cause down the road.
She expresses the same message to a different audience in How to Parent So Children Will Learn by Sylvia Rimm
Both are availible through amazon with the "search inside feature" so take a look and see what suits you. I think that this is excellent advice, but haven't excelled at following it. Perhaps if I had started earlier?
Best Wishes,
Trinity
