Petunia, I've been astonished at how well using "playing" as a reward for technique practice has worked.
We're into this several weeks now, and DD isn't really "practicing" any more than she ever did, but she is PLAYING more, which means that her practice is far more effective. She doesn't actually
need to practice something hundreds of times to master it. Only dozens.
I think that this has always been the disconnect for her- how on earth to actually fill an hour (or even 20 minutes) with four or five things that each take up only 2-3 minutes. The idea of actually playing them again and again for forty minutes is horrifying to her, and it serves no rational purpose that she can see.
Given the freedom to just "play" during that time each morning, though...
We've had the best luck circumventing her obstinance about things that we as her parents feel are important habits/activities by couching it in honest terms-- we are wanting her to establish HEALTHY HABITS.
Walking her dog each day, rain or shine is: a) responsibility whether she feels like it or doesn't, and b) regular exercise is healthy, but mostly c) exercise is one of the best COPING skills for stress that exists.
Music is another one of those healthy "coping" strategies that doesn't rely on anyone else, and can be used to 'work through' emotional upsets and even used as an effective escape from problems that we can't solve.
Those coping strategies are particularly important for kids who are outside of the majority of any population distribution in some way, because they have to learn to live in a world that is OFTEN out of synch with them. That's a constant stressor. It becomes even more critical if the child in question has emotional OE's, since they will have all the more "stuff" to work through as a result.
In leveling with our DD about WHY we make some of the parenting decisions that we do, and asking her to trust us, we gain a lot more cooperation from her.
