I'll try to address some questions/comments but I'll have to reread the posts to hit everything.
Piano is (and has always been) his choice, starting at age 4 when I taught him what little (what little) I know about it. When he was 5, he begged for lessons for six months before we gave him - we thought he was too young.
He says he doesn't want to practice because it is boring. I can understand that, but I think you should buckle down and do it. He's not motivated, really, in any part of his life. Maybe it's a lack of challenge; maybe it's stress for being overscheduled. Who knows.
He also plays the French Horn in the top MS band (one grade up) and he also struggles with practicing that.
Practice has been required - every weekday morning and at least one day on the weekend. A schedule in the morning before school and free choice time on the weekend. However, I can't *MAKE* him play. We've punished, cajoled, rewarded, bribed, encouraged, threatened, spanked and everything else to get him to practice. When it comes down to it, though, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink".
He is very musical. He has potential. He has talent. He can do well with minimum effort. He does these festivals and scores excelllent or superior (superior plus is the highest) without much effort. He technically plays very well but doesn't do the practice necessary to get the correct tempo and dynamics. His teacher is keeping him at the level he's on because of those two things.
He hates the thought (at least verbally) of quitting piano lessons. The compromise of 12/16 days practice was his idea, not mine.
I'm not sure what I want him to get out of it. Fun, joy, challenge. But, I'd sacrifice those things to reduce my stress, I think.
I've walked away and tried very hard to make it his deal. I just can't when he's just wasting time and not doing anything. Or, he's getting sneaky. Last week, he was supposed to be practicing and I heard one song and then a funny rhythm I didn't recognize and went to check. He was playing with his right hand and holding a book in his left and reading. Not the first time this has happened.
I'm not making him take piano lessons. He's chosen it all along. I've always given him the ability to stop, with the proviso that he give it six more months before making a decision. He has never indicated in any way that he wants to stop. Or, maybe by not practicing, he's trying to tell me something?
I'll have to think about your comments some more and try to figures out what we (as parents and as a family) want from him taking piano. I think it's all just so frustrating because it seems like I'm not getting any cooperation from him and piano is a big expense and maybe I'm just reacting emotionally to it and not putting though into it.
Ughh!
