I don't have any advice to offer, but I am thankful for your post. My dd is only 7, so not yet at that point re the boy/girl thing, but I see the beginnings of the friendship stuff you describe. Word for word your description of your daughter's approach relationships mirrors what I am seeing happen with my own daughter. I had hoped adding a few years might help, though know from my own experiences that the gap only seems to get wider :|

Good luck and thanks again, I look forward to seeing the replies you get.